If Only My Pelvis Had Hinges

On the road map to being a successful writer, the next stop is Blogs and Content.blog-or-not   For non-techies that just want to write? There’s a bigger opportunity of living your dream as a successful writer with ’em than without.

Not surprisingly, a blog is a practical way for writers to get the attention of agents and editors.  Hey, have you heard the one about the writer who got discovered on the net and now there’s a movie deal? How’s that happen? Get techie now.

Blogs are as necessary as writing itself!  Disappointing news for someone that still doesn’t have functional drop down menus after a year.  Or two.

grandma

Please don’t leave comments about the wonderful YouTube Tutorials.  It’s not you(tube); it’s me!

Functionality aside, it’s the content that has me stalled.  What do I have to say that anyone wants to read?  Well, I’m pretty crafty and love to share ideas.  Turns out, there’s a lot more projects in the name of blogging than actual blogging.

1000’s of pictures to download and share.  Writing? Not so much.

Another passion?  Kidlit, AKA Children’s Literature.  What a blast, getting to share and promote super fun books, authors… even contests and classes!  Which would be more effective if when this blog thingy is figured out!  Maybe someday I’ll be able to feature snippets of my own published stories (insert  yellow Caution tape here).

Of course, sharing my thoughts and observations once in a while isn’t so bad.  If you can appreciate crazy.img_20150728_151001403

I got a whole bag of crazy right here.  

Bring your own butterfly net and it’s on.

My “Go2 Bestie’s” have been asking me to write the random goofiness that is Yvette.   Not that I’m a daredevil or party with rock stars.  (Except for Joel, but that was before the band and MTV video).  Anyhoo, let’s just say I inadvertently bring joy to people in a sitcom tv kinda way.  Lack of common sense + misguided determination + partial hearing loss = happy to entertain you. Again.img_20150723_171302092

Unbelievable but true stories are really fun to tell.  Writing them is very different.  For many folks, without the benefit of hearing word tonality, a story can be skewed in an unintended direction  As a writer, it’s my job to convey that tonality.  Someday I will be proud to do just that.  But I’m not there yet.

You may be wondering, “What the?  What about the Hinged Pelvis?” Stay with me.

Building content that includes kidlit, projects and my crazy is tricky.  It would be inappropriate for a child read about “adult” me.  Role modeling!!

Two blogs are not an option; until I can afford a personal assistant with all the money I’m gonna make writing. *snort!*  Yet I think my Besties are on to something.  It’s possible I could concentrate on editing the inappropriate-ness while maintaining the goofy.  Let’s find out!

If Only My Pelvis Had Hinges

A Conversation Shortcut With A Go2 Bestie.

Y: Hey, the pelvis is a bone. Not cartilage, right?

G2B: Yep.  Pretty sure that area needs some extra protection.

Y:  Yeah.  But cartilage would make life easier, don’t you think?

G2B: My cesarean scar agrees with you.

Y:  Um, I was thinking of riding horses or bikes; but there’s that, too.  If we have to have the bone, we should be able to add hinges so we can open and close it like the trunk of a car.

G2B: Hell Yes! No more C-Sections, epidurals…Labor!  (Aggressively pointing a spatula at her boys rolling and punching each other on the floor).  No more labor!!

Y: Correct, Mother of four.  No more Pitocin, no more stitches. No more cold salad splitter tong things, either.  Woot! 

G2B: Oh! We could get in there and really deep clean.  Re-arrange stuff when necessary and tossing out the “excess” (pinching her muffin top).  I’m so in.

Y:  We would have to close up shop for regular maintenance to keep everything fit and operating smoothly.

G2B:  Yes and yes.  Oil change and tune-up, please.  In her sweetest voice, “So sorry, Sweetie.  Closed for repairs.”  

Y: Three boys and a toddler princess will rub that protective coating right off, I imagine.  Y’know, last week I locked the keys in the Nissan again.  It was a pain to get into, since we only have one key.  You wouldn’t believe how much I got done waiting for Mitch!

G2B: I’m just saying, sometimes a girl needs to be alone with her thoughts, right?  (Then turns, threatening a lifetime of pink shirts to whoever gets hurt next.)

Y:  Personally, I’m up for a re-alignment and overhaul. Adjust the settings, tweak the gear shaft, add some lube and get ‘er humming right.

G2B: I would lock the keys in, too.  Anything for some peace.

Y: Lock the keys in now and then!  The only way to open that bad boy is with affection, wine, cuddling, chick flix and chocolate.  Any experienced locksmith should know how to jimmy the lock from there! (Lots of giggling now).  

G2B: Add more wine!

Y: Not only that, we would have the keys to our daughters’ hinged pelvis, too.

G2B: If only!  Think of all the pain and heartache that would save.  I’m in.  A thousand times in.

Y:  I worry though.  If my pelvis had hinges, would it turn into another place to stuff things?

G2B: Hoarder.  Whoa…Turn That Down!!  Could you excuse me?scrollsWriting for children is a passion, sharing projects puts the fun in functional. Telling stories is like breathing. It doesn’t matter if it’s for kids or adults, as long as I keep it clean for all to enjoy.  If and when someone gets offended, well; that’s a bummer and more than likely unintentional.  Please accept my apology in advance.

Gtrukod has blessed me with some very attentive angels that have taken over the wheel many times.  Often, not until everyone has had a good laugh and mostly before people (me) gets hurt. If my crazy makes you giggle too, then I guess my job is done.

 If you’re still with me, thanks! Hope you enjoy a peaceful Happy Thanksgiving! ~Y

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